This journal captures the most challenging period of my life as I left from London to start a family in Sweden, bought the dream house, supported my partner in starting their dream business. Two wonderful children, a cat and a dog. Then it began...

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A journey through trauma, loss, betrayal and broken families. These are my notes and thoughts through one of the hardest periods of my life. I started writing as a form of therapy, a way to reflect on everything that has happened. To try to find sanity and peace where there has been chaos and trauma. Six month ago I was on the edge of the precipice ready to jump and now I have stepped back, refuse to fall again and journey forward with the aim of creating the best chapters of my life yet.

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I decided to write under an alias and to share what I was going through, that it may help others or at least provide some comfort in the knowledge that they are not alone.

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Much has been written in retrospect as the period of hell has been going on for approximately 5 years and am still very much in the thick of it. This site is fact not fiction. 

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It is written partially in diary format though I do not intend  to let this be a constraint. The intent is to pull in imagery and ideas to explore all aspects of this journey. A journey so painful for me that it must be scribed and shared. One may feel a little perplexed by a lack of structure though the mind, breakdowns and diminished mental health do not lend themselves well to structure. 

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I will regularly publish the number of subscribers to highlight to all out there - We are not alone in hard times. We all have them just some more than others, and sometimes far more intense. I welcome all, the lucky few who have managed avoid such things and to the masses that have not.