Quality Time 18/11/2021

Today has been the first time I have cried since my mother died. Strange considering the past few years though it really feels like it is the first time I have had time to cry. Two days ago, a lawyer informed us that if we had fought Kronofogden on the demand to sell our home we would have probably won as we have young children. What a trigger, a punch in the gut that was. The thought that we could have avoided everything and been in a far better position now. Possibly still together as a family. The news ripped my heart out yet again bringing back all the images of the fun times with my family in our wonderful home.

That same day my nine-year-old daughter turned to me and said with a serious look, ‘when we were altogether you both argued though we had fun too, now you just argue, and we never have fun’. My heart was slammed like a baseball rocketing out of the stadium and I had to find every inch to hold back the tears. I still feel broken from the past 24hrs and partially crying as I type. So now I must increase my efforts for quality time, time given like there is no tomorrow. For the rest of the day, I sat with my daughter teaching her to draw using a variety of tools and focused on the art of shading. I watched her in gleaming happiness to be doing this with me which was the most amazing therapy. We signed our pictures and exchanged them. Her picture of pride was half an avocado where she announced it was her favourite thing to draw as they looked so cute - awgh! Love conquers all.

Tomorrow we have a meeting with my son’s therapist, and I fear the worse.

Kronofogden and the way they deal with family’s needs to be addressed. Our children were doing OK until they forced sale of our home and our children forced to change schools 3 times in 24 months. Community and socialism in Sweden are a long way from my understanding of it and the state should not be allowed to take such life effecting measures in such a cut throat manor that effects minors so badly. The very body you expect to help and protect is one of the most vicious organisations I have come across.

They could have frozen the debt and extended period and so forth though they did not care, at all. They even refused to extend the deadline by 3 months until after the summer so our children’s schooling would not be interrupted. No regard whatsoever. What is 3 more months? We were and are not criminals, we have never done anything wrong other than have a bankrupt business with substantial debt. In fact, my ex-wife had a business not I.

That year my daughter wished for a garden party however we could not as we had to be done and sold before, 4 weeks earlier. In the main the money we owed was and is to banks and almost all interest and charges and now increases at a rate far greater than we can possibly pay. It is not as if our lack of ability to pay it all back is going to take food of the table of others, have some kind of compassion.

All of us still carry a sadness about having to abruptly sell our dream home. So today has been a little overwhelming though I will cherish art class with my daughter to my grave and we agreed we shall do this every Sunday, or at least whenever we can.